HeartBreak

God why must MY crush have a girlfriend?? and plus stupid Janaya is showing her true feelings as if it is easy as drinking a sip of water for crying out loud! me and Hudson make fun of her for it but I just keep on wondering what would he do if he found out MY true feelings huh? he just turned 12 years old on monday and yes it IS the day after christmas blah blah blah.... I am just so sick and tired of my true feelings about him boiling up inside of me and I dont know why I havnt exploded yet! I can tell he likes me back I KNOW IT! but he is shy (like me) and he is scared whats going to happen if he tells me the truth......... I am afraid because I think it will ruin our friendship.... tomorrows New Years Eve and he's coming home from his dads at 4:30 so thats when we will hang out but since its vacation and all we've been hanging out at like 9:30 (AM!) and going inside his house (in his BASEMENT!) untill like 8:00 (PM!) so yeah AWKWARD! but on Tueday he goes back to school :(. but I have another week off because I ya know do homeschool and my dad doesnt want to get up LOL. So yeah we only have like 3 days left of going into his house at 10:00 am but I'm sure I can live without it.... Right??